when you know it's them who makes you smile

A,M,P,S came over this morning
and we bake cookies
well...we burnt the first batch =/

then played red ace for a very long time
till we all almost felt asleep xD

Then went dinner to chinabar
and desert at pancake parlour =)

I love today
just hanging out with the girls
and chillin' out

Anw, I'm dead tired
and I might just go sleep now.

who would spare a thought for you?

I feel so sick of the world.
I feel disgusted by it.

I really don't want to listen anymore
and I'm tired of being the one always having to pretend that I'm alright
I'm sick of being being pushed around
only there when you need;
and left aside when you're done.

I need to stop putting hopes on people
and rely solely on myself.

Why do I have to take all the nonsense
and think for others instead

What am I trying to achieve anyway?
To develop love? friendship?

Whatever.
Human are bound to only care for themselves anyway
besides, I'm really nothing to anyone.

Never would have spare a thought for me.

I wish I could figure out myself, sometimes

Anw, I haven't been blogging the past few days because I haven't had the time
but now I do!
even though I'm quite tired

On friday, the girls came over and we practically just lie on my bed chatting for the afternoon
It was great catching up since we hadn't done it for a year =(

On Saturday, went to the city with A
and we took over 300 photos with E's awesome camera.

These are just a few:
(photoshopped by A)



My baby charcoal



I look like a mad woman
pole hugger =/

I shall upload more when A burn me a disc =)

Oh and yesterday, went to TAO's with friends
and then went to T's house and played mafia
Hilarious.
It's good when you have friends >20
who can drive around =/
it was really fun and in the end, came home close to 2+
after talking to S.
so I was dead tired
and it was weird cos I couldn't fall asleep straightaway and stayed up till 4+
and what was even weirder was
I woke up at 7am
then I just lie on my bed dozing on and off till 11 =x

hmmm, scary yeah?
something is wrong with me, seriously
this is my first time feeling like this.

Today, went with J & mj to hakka
and Wheee, I have ponyo now thanks to mj =)

I'm reachin for something I can't touch

turns out that there're alot of things I can't do
alot of things beyond my control

What am I exactly holding on to survive?
Family? friends? Memories?
God?
yesh definitely.

It seems like I have been struggling the past few days
that have resulted in my anti-social behavior

I think I'm finding alot of false security.
and it seems so hard to differentiate them
money, fame, friends, etc

I feel so confused
and it's the same feeling again
I think I know what's right
but at the same time, the world is pushing me to the other end
which way do you go?
or is there a compromise?

Still haven't figure out much yet
but I'm much more relax these days too
I guess spending quality time alone makes me feel happy somehow

when life seems to overwhelm; look into urself

Can you believe it

I started this drama in the morning

and I just finished it =)

Hahah, it's an old drama

and I never wanted to watch it

becos the cover looks really really bad

But, judging by it's front over is so wrong

cos it was a pretty good drama =)

and if you tink the main characters look gross, think again

tis is hot hot lee wan

and this is the main girl who looks really bad at the start.


Although exams are over,
I feel really stress but I don't know why
maybe I don't wanna think about anything
but things just keep clouding my mind

seems like when you finally thought you solve this problem
another problem arises
when would this ever stop?

So sick of it, really
but this time, it feels like I can't avoid it
or bury myself into my fantasy world.

-sigh-
I wish that I stop being so sensitive about the people around me
and look at the positive side instead
gosh, why can't my life be perfect?

am I being really ungrateful with what I have already?
maybe now that there's a slim chance that I can actually have what I want
that I become so greedy

but really, what do I want?
or maybe, what do I need?
cos that need would seem so much easier to accomplish

I want that can't-be-bothered feeling back, i tink
but at the same time, I don't wanna miss out on my chances.

one of those days...

Arghh. my speakers are not working!!!
Just when I wanna watch Momo Love and Liar Game 2

This is annoying me very badly
and I mean very very.

Anw, I met up with A early in the morning to discuss about DC
it was productive and fun =)
hopefully, everything will sort out soon.

and I thought I lost my mobile phone
but it turns out that I left it at home
silly me.

Then I went to dandenongs with my family.
food was good =)

And now, I waiting vv patiently for S to come pick me up.
Wat a won-der-ful day?

understand me inside out, please

I don't really get it why when the new came upon so abruptly
I actually didn't feel anything.
Maybe I was already prepared for such day.
or there're too many things going around in my life that I cbs thinking about you.

Oh well.
I'm glad I can finally move on.

Anwhoo, spend my night with J,K,L,S ytd
becos S promised to shout us dinner when we're done with VCE
ate at sakura house in Knox
was pretty good, I reckon
then hang at K's house to play cards.
we can be sooooo fun sometimes.

It's kinda of funny how they're seniors from glenny
and I only know them recently
the world is weird.
but they're cool, somewhat

and tomo morning shall be a productive morning, hopefully
I want to involve in something creative =)

Where are you?
I miss you and I want you.
though I don't know who you are, yet.

you know me better than no one else

Just this time, I will not avoid the problem
It's amazing.
Thanks for your courage and love

I love you like mad