falling in as quickly as falling out

this song is such an encouragement to me
and the timing couldn't have been more perfect :)

I, sometimes, wonder if I have spilt personality or smth along this line.
One moment, I tell myself that I'm able to accept this.
Afterall, any form of ending leads to a new beginning right?
Letting it go and filling with a joyful heart to face whatever that may come next.
And I know and believe that everything happens for a purpose.
My mission is completed and now it's the time to leave.

But other times, I wake up in the morning and feel like everything is such a dream
From the point of unification to separation.
Can this be real?

Feels like for the past few months,
I've been living a lie.
Since when did I become so immersed and blinded
that I failed to see beyond the lies?
Was I the only one who poured out everything?

I feel like a little doll being played around with.
Gosh mish, since when have you become so dumbed?

Ahh whatever, I can get through this.
It's only a matter of changed hearts and time.

But it's really all over now.

life's like that

It's amazing what I experience in church few days ago.
something that words cannot simply express

I feel soooo refreshed
so postive for once.

hopefully this feeling will last forever
cos there's nothing else that I would ever want.

my exams officially start in a couple of hours time.
and you know what's funny.
I'm SOO NOT READY
but then again, who can ever be ready for an exam?

can't wait for everything to finish.
so I can focus on doing things that make me happy :)

express.

thank you my beloved friends for your concerns :)
im perfectly fine to be honest!

man, i miss high school so much.
miss the days where I can just be so carefree!
chatting at lunch,

laughing all the time,
going crazyyyy,

I wish I could turn the clock backwards
I feel like since uni started I haven't spend much time with my highschool mates :(

hopefully, friendship will be everlasting
even if we don't see each other for a while.

OMOSH can't wait for exams to finish!!
and see my beloved friends again <3

bye world.

I never thought of myself as someone strong.
but neither did I think I was weak.
and now, it just prove me that I, myself, have fallen.
vulnerability is the only word that comes into my mind.

I've given more than I thought I could ever give.
and now, perhaps not so much regrets.
but rather I am disappointed in myself.
my stupidity has caused me much more to bear than I could imagine.

Anw, I believe I need a break from the world.
a break to see what they really mean to me.
and my position in their lives.
a break to allow my restoration and refocus on what's important.

goodbye world.

missing my innocences

Currently at monash lib with no intention of studying.
Had a cup of butterscotch latte and my goodness,
the syrup is so full-on, i feel like i m going to have diabetes
and now i m pretty high on my sugar :)

Having a cup of coffee in my hand and reminiscing on the old high school days with J
Hilarious stuff; got to know the real reason why she first hang with me.
the first sleepover, the most embarassing stuff, etc,etc.
literally laughing so hard; my tummy hurts

As we grow older, finding happiness seems to get a bit harder and difficult.
don't you miss those days when you can drop dead laughing at smth that seems so trivial now?

those sincere and innocent smile that can lift up one's spirit.
How i wish we can turn the clock backwards and pause the moment.

Will we be able to survive what adulthood brings to us?
Responsibilities, reality, morality, financial issues seem to be a bombardment of our lives.
Where have those days gone when these issues never even cross our minds?
don't lose heart though; our grandparents and parents gone through it and survive.

But to me, it's not a matter of survival.
It's a matter of living life to its fullest.
I don't wanna live life for the sake of "living"
I wanna be here right now becos I have a purpose to fulfill.

At the end of the days,
I wanna say, "I have know Him, I have love Him, I have obey Him"

rockin' my world

went to A Night With The Stars charity concert ytd night
and it was sooo cool.
man, I wish I was somehow somewhat be as talented like them
dancing, singing, and simply looking good :)

I know my blog is pretty much an emo blog!

but to be honest, i m not as emo as I sound to be.

alright, i bet you still don't believe me anyway.

love the lyric to death. and I mean it

did I mention that I shopped at Forever21!
becos USA is almost at par with AUS
hopefully my parcel will arrive soon :)

http://www.polaroid.com/en/stream

http://www.zink.com/buy-ZINK

I want a polaroid!

Drowning in my own world

I'm currently sitting on my bed in the dark
typing on my lappy.

I know.
it sounds very much emo.
but whatever.

I've been experiencing some weird stuff lately.
things that I was always hoping for it to happen
yet now when it's time to decide,
it feels like I wish this time would never come.

2 ways to go from here now,
maybe i can prolong the time before the decision time is up.
yet, I will still have to choose ultimately.

do I really have to burn the bridge?
so that I will have no way of turning back to you?
you know I would stay if I could.
I would walk with you till the end if life enables me

but life has brought me something bigger.
something that I cannot miss.

sometimes, I cannot bear to see you for another seconds
yet other times, I wouldn't let go of your hands.
I wish my heart will stop its contradiction with my thoughts.

I have other places to go.
yet because we're here tgt,
I can't turn my back on you.
becos that feeling of missing you everyday,
of not being able to hear your voice
and knowing you're still here behind.
still to tied a knot around my heart
refuses to let me go.

I miss the old me again.
yet I have changed to someone else whom I bearly recognised.
someone else so that I could fit perfectly for you.

so that you will be happy with me
but I really don't know if this is me anymore.

I'm not the kind who says goodbyes

so would you please be the first to count to 3
and turn away?
never looking back again?

don'tplaythatmusic; cositonlybringsmemories

I slept at 7am today just to finish my assignment off :/
but i m soo glad it's done!
no more assignment for the rest of the year!

I've been spending my time listening to music on youtube.
finding unknown singers with lyrics that's really meaningful.
what a day!

You say that every man is lookin' for just one thing

You say they love you but they really don't know what it means

So tell me how is this supposed to end

Cause I got this empty space inside of me where I let you in

I can't hear the sound of it beating

Its so hard breathing

I need to believe in love

So tell me how is this supposed to end

With one heart missing

so why do i feel like i'm livin' a lie

something in your eyes

is tellin' me to stop and think twice

and i just can't decide

so don't say you love me unless you mean it

'cause i might do something stupid

like believe it, like believe it

i might do something stupid

like believe it, like believe it

things difference now

doing what i can to change your mind

i apologized a thousand times

but it won't work, it won't work

cos baby now it just feels like i'm burning underwater

this pain ain't making us stronger

so as you're walking out the door

i'm screaming out don't go

if you love me baby you just won't go

i'll make it all better if you stay

so baby don't go

it feels like i'm dying

baby please i'm down on my knees