Fated to love you; but perhaps not fated to be together

Yay, I finished 40 hour famine this morning!!
So I ate as much as I could and talk as much as I could...

I feel so much more relieved
that I am able to face certain things that I never thought I would
with love and confident =)

For the weekend,
I have simply been watching drama all day =)

Thanks to Annie and my cousin who rang me from SG to recommend it...
But anw, I LOVE it!
It's really sad but nice at the same time!


Don't you wish you're main character in those love dramas?
Hmmm, wonder if I ever said this b4 but I always wanted a love story
those really heart rending ones
that could touch anyone who hears that story...

I don't want the whole boring process
where you see each other and "fall in love"
then, get married...
have a child...
have grandchild...
The End

Perhaps, a story where you can never be with the one you love the most...
Sound like a good plot..
realistic endings...

Forgotten, because you don't have a voice

I never knew how difficult it was to not speak verbally...
It has only been like 6 hours and I'm feeling sooo annoyed
I feel like screaming my head off; but I can't =.=
It's the feeling of being trapped and suppressed, I suppose

It made me think how often I viewed people who are different
who has disabilities or financial challenges
How I feel so confused? or hesistant whether to look at them?
or simply ignore them in order to make them feel normal?
I don't know....
but I want to know how they feel

People often take communication for granted
They automatically think that speaking is smth you simply DO
yes it is for most of us...
but for others...it's not neccessary the easiest thing for them
Imagine trying ur hardest to say something
but nothing simply comes out
No one understands you
No one is able to empathize with you
You're simply left behind...
Forgotten, because you don't have a voice

Yet, it's not simply you're mute or anything
but it's the fact that sometimes you're simply ripped from your rights
People who don't live in democratic society like us
doesn't have a say at all
They are being oppressed by high authority
And they don't have a voice to stand up for themselves
nothing is all they have...

Or perhaps, let's look at a smaller scale
You're being isolated by your friends or classmates
and you wanna share your ideas and tell them what you've been doing on the weekends
but nooo,
You're not to be heard

That's feeling is inexplicable

Our world ain't perfect
There're people suffering everyday
And yet here we are, so lucky and blissful to even have an internet to read this pointless blog
When others need to work hard labour with no time to spare...

I feel as if my world has been flipped upside down
inside out
I don't know what has happened lately
It's the people around me whom I'm vv worried
Yet, as a friend..
I feel useless
becos there's really nothing I can offer
nothing I can do to uplift them and stop the things they're doing

I wish I had some power and control over certain things
but unfortunately, I don't...
Sometimes, I don't even have that power to control myself
so how can I even possess that strength to help others?


Man, I seriously don't know w-t-h I writing
I can't think much now
I am food-deprived and definitely SLEEP-deprived...

Losing my voice just so you won't know I'm right here all the while...

Jus came back from Jinali's b'dae =)
didn't bring my cam so unfortunately no photos!
omosh, i have to post up photos from lizzie's last week!!
anw, can't seem to find my camera...
so that's gayy....
If you don't know why I am simply blabbering on
blah blah blahh...

It's becos I feel lonely....
yes, lonely
40 hours of famine
no eating and no talking
It actually only has been 1 hour
but I feel like it has been for yearsss!!
Wow, never knew how hard it was to not speak, really...

Anw, I'm off to watch some dramas
to make me happy and keep me distracted
esp from my dad who keeps pestering me to speak....

Whatever it takes to erase it all;

Have you ever make a decision in your life
that you're sooo sure about it?
so sure that you would not regret it?

I probably had...
but perhaps not 100%
because I'm fickle...
and every time I decide on something...
There's always that voice at the back of my head
that bugs me and makes me hesitate

but whatever it is, I've learnt to never look back
Regardless of whether that decision at the point of time
is irrational or rational...
you've already made that decision
So stick with it! yea?

There's no point in turning back right?
Whatever that has cause you to make that particular decision
is obviously for a reason....

Anw, took that quiz that everyone seems to be taking on FB!
I reckon it's pretty accurate!


Your view on yourself: You are intelligent, honest and sweet. (wow, I absolutely LOVE myself) You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love. IDK XD

Your views on education: You may not like to study (hell yeah!)but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.


I don't ever wanna say hi to you,
knowing that it would simply end up with a "goodbye"
I'm keeping that distance...

overwhelmed by stresssss

Yeshh, I almost died...
for the past few days, I've been studying for my spesh sac
useless though, cos the topic I studied for DID not come out
and the calc dieddddd!!
very annoyingggg...
In fact, I think it made me worst
due to the accumulated stress...
but wateva...

Btw, did I mention that my aunty, cousin and her friend arrived on Sat?
Can't really joined them much because of schooool
After the Sac, went to aunty's place and just came back
I feel soooo sleepy right now...

VERY SLEEPYYYY
aimless post to fill in the space xD

and yes AL, I got loads to talk to you about!
you're the expert in the fields =PPPP

relationships just ain't my cup of tea...

Alrite, the title is abit mis-leading...
I mean who doesn't want to have someone to love
someone to care or someone to talk to every night on the phone?
someone whom you know will be there for you regardless,
and a motivation for you to get up of bed every morning
and remember that he/she's waiting for you

Yeaayeaaa, there's a whole lot of loveyduffy things down my list

But when you think about it carefully,
Relationship don't last, especially when you're in highschool?
There might be that 0.01% who are highschool's sweethearts
but hey, what are the chances anyway?

Man, I swear I'm not trying to break anyone's dream here
I'm just talking about my own sad life xD
soo don't kill me

How can one be so guarantee that he/she's THE ONE?
when you haven't even step out into the world
and meet new people in ur jobs,uni, etc etc
Sometimes, I really admired people who are in relationships
So immersed into love that they become oblivious to their surroundings

I guess love really do make you blind
but what exactly is love anyway?

That part really confuses me
Have I ever been in love?
I'm not sure whether that "fondness" has gone beyond the state of love
or perhaps, when everything dies now
that onced so called romance...
is nothing but a faded memory that continues to daunt upon your life subconsciously..
Maybe we wouldn't even want to admit it was love becos it turned into something else
like friendship or hatred?
Who knows really?
Self-denial is way stronger than the truth...

But I'm sure I had many unsuccessful crushes on ppl before
But I guess till date, there is only one that was etched into my memory
That feeling of wanting, yet knowing it's not meant to be
really agonises the fact that there was onced a chemistry
but fate is a weird thing anyway

The faster you accept it, the easier you will get over it
because apart from the fact that relationship do make you upset
it strengthens you too
for the future at least...

Coraline, come stay with us

Jinali and I sneaked out to watch Coraline!
3-D glasses were pretty cool
but I got abit dizzy during the movie xD

Anw, all I can say is that the movie is
Twisted

Now, I am ready to watch my second movie!! WheeeEeeEEeEEE....

Each morning, I rmb that you're still here with me

Guess which one is mine?
The better looking one, obviously

Nearly half the term is over
and there're only a few more months before highschool ends
VTAC is opened...but I actually still got no idea what I want to do in the future

For the past few years, I was pretty sure I wanted to be a strong career woman
but now, I simply lost that motivation
or perhaps, I found some other goals (which is of course not evident to me yet)
Sigh, life's sooo funny sometimes
what do I exactly wanna be??

I do wonder what people sees me as
Do they think I'm superficial or shallow?
a selfish stupid bimbo? rofl
I really don't know actually...

I would like to think myself as cheery? easy-going?
a person with principles and character?
Wow, I'm soo confuse now
have you ever been confused with your identity?

I want to be like Romulus, I suppose
Someone with strong character and a genuine humanity...


You know what's the best thing about growing up?
Is that people stop being soo childish and petty
They stop giving you crap
I rmb last time, if you went out with a friend without calling the other one to come
simply ~bitchfights~
but now, no one gives a darn really...

Friends are wonderful creatures, really
I'm sure everyone needs friends
and the importance of friendship cannot be denied

Hahah, anw C n F got this mini book for about friends
and it says

To make a friend, you have to shut one eye
To keep a friend, you have to shut both!

True that though....

I really believe that to make a friend,
you have to ask yourself whether you are worth being a friend to?
I love friends;
everyday, they're the ones who uphold me
strengthen me
and make me smile to each new day

I made new friends this year; but I lost some at the same time
Regardless though, I always rmb that friends have different reasons to stay or leave
Sooo, whatever happens...
don't look back

because a new future awaits in the midst of your confusion and heartbreaks