Something seems to be missing; deep down

I, onced, felt this way too...

Losing something important; sometimes feels as if your heart has been ripped apart
For a moment, the world seems to stop
You ask yourself whether you can carry on
whether you even have that strength to move on
You hesitate for a while,
and before you could even answer that question
the whole world spins around
They seem to be carrying on on their daily routine,
while you're still stuck here
knowing that deep down,
there's simply something missing

something indescribable
something you perhaps never thought you would lose

That one thing that rips you apart
and control over your life
you have no more feeling
and it's too numb to feel the pain

Broken into thousand pieces,
you wish that he would mend it all again

But don't worry, just when you think everything falls apart
We will all piece it back for you =)

~Dedicated to my good friends

Today is just another phase of life; no big deal

Umat is simply gay
While they were collecting up the papers,
I could not help but wonder why I was there
and mygoodness, how I could have use that 160 bucks to buy shoes instead xD

On my 18th b'dae, I finally opened the letter I wrote for myself...
I felt abit awkward when I was reading it
but I was upset when I read it
because I had so much hope for myself
to be a better person
but I've failed to do so...
I thought I was on the right track
but in the end, I came crashing hard

I've been delaying all the things I need to do
I really need to light up that fire in me
I need a motivation, a direction, a goal

blogless

Had lunch with S today
was good and I'm glad he finally make a decision
Hmmm, let's just hope it gets better from now =)

I always feel really tired around this time
and then, when I go to bed early...
I CAN'T SLEEP
What's wrong with me!!
I'll be in bed tossing around till midnight...

There've been alot in my mind lately
Things I wanna write it all out
but not now...
Not ready yet, I suppose...

I've UMAT tomo
and I don't even understand WHY am I doing it
Asif I gonna go into medical or science field
oh well, miss out on school... suppose that's a bonus

I'll one day forget about who I wanna be
and then start living a life worth living
a life that's not for myself

Don't Gamble Yourself Away;

Guess where did I just come back from?
...
..
.
Crown Casino~

It was quite exciting, I suppose...
Not really, kinda bore me to death
maybe becos I didn't have money to play

But anw, there's still weird old chinese man who was on the table
He: how old r you?
ME : just turned 18
5 mins later when I was about to leave,
HE : "LEt's go for dinner together"
Me : *stare* I'm with my dad *runs off*

According to mum, you meet weird ppl in the casino itself
but it actually pretty scary cos you get to see ppl who can't control themselves
and continue to gamble
They looked sooo distress man...
Anw, reason I went there was to eat dinner!
and dinner was good =)
tho I didn't like my steak...

I want to get my Ps
but unfortunately, I'm still stuck on stinkin 25 hours
and I still have 95 hours to go...
won-der-ful

Btw, did I mention that I wanna be a dealer now!
seems exciting! and you can play without using your own money *wink*

Ppl don't care how You look,
they care about how They look
So why do ppl care how they look in the first place when nobody's gonna care?
random much....

do I even know how to speell?

ARGHH, fb is weird...
I can't see my complete wall
thus, I can't reply comments =.=
this is sooo annoying!!!

Watevaaaa... I shall calm down...

Pics from leah's
Alrite, get over it...
told u my cam can't work in the dark
it's lazy like me...

Pics from ytd hotpot =)

being 18 feels like a dream...

Finally, the day has come...
the day when I can legally do anything I want!
hhhaha, but being 18 is so over-rated

I feel old!!! xD

Thanks to the ppls who send me b'dae wishes
Thanks to P for shouting dinner ytd!!
Thanks for midnight sms-es
Thanks for the presents
esp J who dropped by =)
LOVESSS U PEEPS!

HAppy B'dae to Mickey too =P
my twin!

I'm sooo full from hotpot...

Shall upload photos tomo!

superduperhero

I feel a burden in my heart
Omosh, I'm trying my best to be happy
but thoughts simply consume me
I should really get a life xD

I wanna a new camera
new bag
new shoes
I need shopping therapy >.<
OHh, btw I missed school today
seems like a wonderful to skip a day of school
I mean, gosh it was rainning in the morning
best time to sleep in, yeah?

but then I had unimaths, which I can't wag unfortunately
but it wasn't as excruciating as I thought =)

Ohh, and debating was quite a blast
cos instead of "speaking", the opponent team actually sang their speech out
with a guitar...
I must say, it was quite a performance
but sadly, hated my debate
becos I actually sound like a bitch xD
......

Say hi to Miss Happy

or Mr. xD

Anw, I'm happy today =)
or more like, I'm weird...
but whateva it's
I'm Me...

So the things that were troubling me
no longer exist
maybe just for now...
Visit my other blog if you want...
on the left hand corner...

Oh, had spesh Sac today
was bad cos I didn't finish both paper xD
10 marks gone for each...
oh well, it's not life and death

Anw, this post is soo weird and pointless
but hey, all my posts are pointless!

Oh btw, was dragged to HappyCup after Sac
by P n M
anw, had a "good chat" about relationship problems...
but I ended up being such a bad counsellor
fail my job ="(

I've been quite obsessive with psychology things btw
b/c of this Hk drama
about multiple personality disorder and stuff
quite cool but confronting at times...

Anw, the chat made me think about my past relationships
which I'm so glad that I'm still really good friends with them
that I can simply go to them and tell them my problems anytime
I really do wish them happiness with the person they're with now =)
Come to think of it, I'm actually a very crap gf xD
so I feel even more happy they found someone else!
WheeeEee, life's cool

Holiday parade

Melbourne to...

Gold Coast
from $99*

The Indian Pacific
Join an epic coast-to-coast luxury rail adventure across 4352km of Australia aboard the Indian Pacific – one of the longest scenic rail journeys on earth.

I never knew there was like a train thingy from sydney to perth! 0.o

Anw, I'm looking around for travel destination around Australia =)
so if you do know, lemme know
and btw, It's a budget trip
sooo yeah.....

Gold coast sound like fun!!
http://www.flightcentre.com.au/world-travel/australia/queensland/gold-coast/attraction/shopping

I realise how emo I've been for the past week...

It's stopping me; this stupid society

I feel like vanishing

I can't take it anymore
what the society throws at me
I feel soo childish even thinking about all these crap
but I can't help but feeling helpless
feeling pathetic...

I hate this world, alot actually
but whateva it is, I still have to go through it yeah?

Please don't frking annoy me
I can't tolerate it anymore
One day, I might just tear down all the walls
if you never seen me in this state b4
just leave me alone

I'm sooo over it
I don't care about consquences anymore
Maybe I'll just burst out from this lil bubble of mine
and say byebye

Missing you as always

I've been sooo TIRED lately
I haven't really had a good sleep for long time
or perhaps, let just say I haven't been sleeping ENOUGH

I feel like missing school and sleep 12 hours straight
if that's even possible

I got a whole list to do
and none of them is tick yet...

Arghh, i need another weekend
a quiet one...

no blogging for long
so I gotta do invites =,-

Oh btw, did I mention that I'm extremely excited
b/c my friends from Sg mention about coming to Australia at the end of the year?
I gotta check up stuff to do too =)
WhheeeEeee....
and I haven't been talking to c lately
so I'm deprived xD

Too much on my mind;

Leah's party was a blast
except I couldn't really get into the mood
too much things on my mind
but anw, everyone was really pretty that night
esp Leah, of course
love her dress and her shoes...
omgosh...

Anw, I spent ALOT of time trying to do my hair like ladygaga's
seeming that it was a hollywood theme

but I couldn't get it done xD
so stuffed it!!!

I'm turning 18 soon
the idea is freakin me out ALOT
but I'm excited at the same time...
sort-of....

Musical

Urine Town is sooo freakin good =O
love all the songs man
I wish I could sing like them =X

It's empty and hollow; a heart so broken

I'm getting lost in the route I'm supposed to take
It's an indescribable feeling
I feel anxious and confused
I'm not sure anymore
I don't want to deal with the things that's happening no more
I got other inner conflicts to deal with

Whyyyy.......
Oh well, life is beautiful as it is
if you look through the other end of the scope, maybe

Life's a wonder
Somehow questioning it doesn't seem to make any difference at all
I faced myself in the mirror
and all I find is simply a core
empty and hollow

I need a direction, onced again
I need to be filled, onced again

Nothing left of you in my memory

Today is the most unproductive day ever;
Didn't do any work
and my french essay is due tomo
I'm officially stuffed xD
but I have 3 studyperiod tomo
so hopefully, I will get it done...

I've been wandering aimlessly lately
My mind is drifting off
and my focus hasn't been right either
so confused, so lost
I need a direction in life, desperately


Those memories are gone and will never repeat again
so what are you exactly waiting for?
You said those guys are not worth it
yet, you fell in love with one
you're going with the flow and it seems to be hurting
so please go against the current this time
you control your life, your fate
stay strong, girl

The time is tickin' and I feel like hittin' you

I'm sooooo annoyed now, it's not funny
That's it...
I dun care anymore
dun care what the world would say
dun care whether I will feel bad or not
just going ahead with what angry mish tells me to do now

Do me a favour and last forever

Greatttt, my phone just died on me =)
Did I ever mention to you, I simply hate charging mobile phone?
Why can't they invent some kind of batt that will last forever
or work by oxygen/co2 or even the existing solar power xD
Anw, this leaves all mobile phones dead besides one
even my Sg mobile hasn't been charged for months -.-
arghh

Went grocery shopping with mum today
and driving lessons xD
I need to clock in 100 hours in 2 weeks
but obviously, that's impossible...

I should really start doing some Hw
spesh and eng...
but I can't seem to concentrate yet
I just work on my Freeesss tomo!!

Anw, we finished watching Les femmes de l'ombre
inspires me even more to be a sniper

Swearing it off; b/c it hurts too much

Anw, watching drama surely makes me feel better
and oh I updated the other blog if anyone is actually interested xD

There're so many things that I have to do
and get organised!!

Since I was planning to dye my hair yeah
I thought I check up on google ytd nite
and It came up with all their theoretical and chemistry terms
about how hair dye destroys your hair
now, that makes me want to cancel that idea in my head xD
but still, the thought of having colours in my hair, besides boring old black, interests me alot
Oh btw, you know what colour really interest me?
Ash brown
the colour that Lara had in her video Xia Yu Tian

Oh anw, I actually read some parts of the newspaper today
since M kindly got me one xD
and I thought this was weird and interesting

The Age today says that swearing can actually lessen physical pain
Let me quote this:
"When my wife was in labour with our daughter she felt the need to F and blind at one point"
and apparently, midwife are used to that kind of language in delivery wards
Man, I feel sorry for
1. pregnant ladies - for acting so crude b/c of the pain
2.their husbands - for having to see their wives swear it off (I reckon they would be really really shock; perhaps more shock than what the gender of the baby would be xD)
3. the midwives (esp A who plans to be a midwife)

Anw, that was something that I thought was funny >.<

Oh, and they had another article about Twitterature xD
but got no idea what it all meant in the end

It's me; that's the problem

Oh, happy 200th post btw

-----

I feel so ... annoyed?
I'm not even sure whether that's the right word to describe how I feel at this present moment
Perhaps, the things that happened arnd me really frustrates me ALOT
but deep down, I'm more annoyed at myself
for behaving in such a way that I know it's wrong and stupid
plain stupidity

yet I can't seem to change the way I act
I need a break to do some "reflections"

I need a clear path of what's ahead of me
I need to let go of you
and not let unneccessary things affect me
Then, I might be able to see "how beautiful the world is again" =)

I need a change in myself
this time, for the better

Absolutely love the sermon ytd
one thing the pastor said was

Be a person who cares more about your character rather than reputation

I need to start changing myself from the inside

Somehow, I've got this feeling that I'm sliding back into my old ways
when I simply daydream all the time
dwelling in my problems
living in my own lil world
and refusing to speak

but regardless of what, I still love daydreaming
...and the silent mish, to a certain extent

The start of school
a new beginning again
Hope this time, I'll start striving hard
b4 it's too late to even regret

hate school.hate school
hate.u

drunk in the midst of your hotness

Whheee, got photos from A's cam

I reckoned I was abit .... xDDD
I looked like a retard

lovebirds, enuff said =P

Party was awe-some =)
Happy B'dae to my best highschool sweetheart xDD
A blink of the eyes, and we noe eachother for 6 years?
Nawww, i love her to bits xoxo

Anw, I didn't take alot of photos,
seeing that it was a dark night...
so I kinda used A's and J's =)
hopefully, they will send me d photos

Plan B launched; which is the replication of plan A

You know what, I almost died from an electric shock
becus I was soo lazy enough not to turn off the power switch before plugging my laptop charger in
thus, creating massive sparks and a surge of power through my body
hmmm, I feel like superwoman right now xD

Anw, I finally created my second blog
perhaps, very random
but it ain't sudden cos I always felt a conviction
http://myqtwithgod.blogspot.com/
hopefully, this blog will last anyway

Btw, I feel so pale and my eyes are sore
sooo yeah, I look very ghostly xD

On a lighter note, I have decided to cut my hair
and DYE IT in 2 weeks time!
that's rite!
I wanna be a NEW ME!!
The only reason I am excited that I actually deciding to dye my hair is becus
I promised myself that I will not dye my hair till I turn 18
See, this is what principles do to you -.-
But anw, I'm still fickle...
cos what if my hair texture gets really bad?
Arghh, I wish I do things more impulsely

My hands are freezing and I think it's time I cuddle in bed
having sweet dreams about you =)

none compared to you

Went to westfield doncaster for the first time with mum
It's massive I reckon
and that's when I saw my first love diana ferrari shoe

anw, then drop by family friend's place
learnt alot from them

I want to do something decent in my life

I shall blog decent stuff later

Moments that take our breath away

Farewell sunny =)
On Sunday after Church, S drove J n I all the way to forest hill to play pool
b/c it was 1 dollar cheaper =.=
but we wasted his petrol...
Anw, then went to Boxhill for dinner!
B/c the dinner wasn't really good or filling
We decided to go pancake parlour at glen

I miss working soooo much
Anw, for the past 4 days
I was down at....... WilsonProm =D
It was great to be down there again
If you didn't know, J and her mum invited me to join them for the second time
It's such a privilege =)

first thing I did was:
make a nice cosy bed =)

Anw!
It's the best place ever
Soooo pretty

This quote really relates now

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the number of moments that take our breath away

WHEEEEeee

The view outside the cabin
Every morning...
we'll practically sit and eat our brekkie staring at the scenary

When I mean we climb that xD
I mean I crawled up there xD
This shows how weak I am
Anw, My legs and butt still hurts like mad XD


Random:

Now, tell me why did the wombat cross the tracks?

I might post more photos tomo
but I'm able to eat now
So I'm leaving for churros =)

Too weak to even understand what's going now

I would love to blog about the trip
but I'm STARVING and VV WEAK x]

so I cbs uploading photos...
maybee later...

Weird and random much?

Is this the first time I've been away from blogging for soooo long?
Alrite, maybe not XD

Anw, I'm back home =)
I'm sure everyone misses me...
Ooohkay, maybe not XD

Anw, I shall unpack my stuff and blog later =)

Memories that eventually fade; so what's the point of it happening anw?

This camera (sony W230)is currently selling at $297 at harvey!!
Should I get it?

Anw, I will be leaving tomo and be back on thur
so I won't be blogging but I will be tweeting all the way =)
Don't bother sms-ing or ringing me
cos I won't be picking up calls or returning msg!
and don't ask me any questions about where or who I'm going with
stay out of my sight and mind for these four days
and you've done a big deal for me =)

I'm quite excited for tonight dinner with my ex-workmates
so farewell Sunny

It's time I move on, for real
7months; too long to even catch those memories back
so bye now and forever
hopefully, this is the last time I'm saying bye
becos I ain't dragging myself back to bet my life on that game of urs