missing my innocences

Currently at monash lib with no intention of studying.
Had a cup of butterscotch latte and my goodness,
the syrup is so full-on, i feel like i m going to have diabetes
and now i m pretty high on my sugar :)

Having a cup of coffee in my hand and reminiscing on the old high school days with J
Hilarious stuff; got to know the real reason why she first hang with me.
the first sleepover, the most embarassing stuff, etc,etc.
literally laughing so hard; my tummy hurts

As we grow older, finding happiness seems to get a bit harder and difficult.
don't you miss those days when you can drop dead laughing at smth that seems so trivial now?

those sincere and innocent smile that can lift up one's spirit.
How i wish we can turn the clock backwards and pause the moment.

Will we be able to survive what adulthood brings to us?
Responsibilities, reality, morality, financial issues seem to be a bombardment of our lives.
Where have those days gone when these issues never even cross our minds?
don't lose heart though; our grandparents and parents gone through it and survive.

But to me, it's not a matter of survival.
It's a matter of living life to its fullest.
I don't wanna live life for the sake of "living"
I wanna be here right now becos I have a purpose to fulfill.

At the end of the days,
I wanna say, "I have know Him, I have love Him, I have obey Him"

rockin' my world

went to A Night With The Stars charity concert ytd night
and it was sooo cool.
man, I wish I was somehow somewhat be as talented like them
dancing, singing, and simply looking good :)

I know my blog is pretty much an emo blog!

but to be honest, i m not as emo as I sound to be.

alright, i bet you still don't believe me anyway.

love the lyric to death. and I mean it

did I mention that I shopped at Forever21!
becos USA is almost at par with AUS
hopefully my parcel will arrive soon :)

http://www.polaroid.com/en/stream

http://www.zink.com/buy-ZINK

I want a polaroid!

Drowning in my own world

I'm currently sitting on my bed in the dark
typing on my lappy.

I know.
it sounds very much emo.
but whatever.

I've been experiencing some weird stuff lately.
things that I was always hoping for it to happen
yet now when it's time to decide,
it feels like I wish this time would never come.

2 ways to go from here now,
maybe i can prolong the time before the decision time is up.
yet, I will still have to choose ultimately.

do I really have to burn the bridge?
so that I will have no way of turning back to you?
you know I would stay if I could.
I would walk with you till the end if life enables me

but life has brought me something bigger.
something that I cannot miss.

sometimes, I cannot bear to see you for another seconds
yet other times, I wouldn't let go of your hands.
I wish my heart will stop its contradiction with my thoughts.

I have other places to go.
yet because we're here tgt,
I can't turn my back on you.
becos that feeling of missing you everyday,
of not being able to hear your voice
and knowing you're still here behind.
still to tied a knot around my heart
refuses to let me go.

I miss the old me again.
yet I have changed to someone else whom I bearly recognised.
someone else so that I could fit perfectly for you.

so that you will be happy with me
but I really don't know if this is me anymore.

I'm not the kind who says goodbyes

so would you please be the first to count to 3
and turn away?
never looking back again?

don'tplaythatmusic; cositonlybringsmemories

I slept at 7am today just to finish my assignment off :/
but i m soo glad it's done!
no more assignment for the rest of the year!

I've been spending my time listening to music on youtube.
finding unknown singers with lyrics that's really meaningful.
what a day!

You say that every man is lookin' for just one thing

You say they love you but they really don't know what it means

So tell me how is this supposed to end

Cause I got this empty space inside of me where I let you in

I can't hear the sound of it beating

Its so hard breathing

I need to believe in love

So tell me how is this supposed to end

With one heart missing

so why do i feel like i'm livin' a lie

something in your eyes

is tellin' me to stop and think twice

and i just can't decide

so don't say you love me unless you mean it

'cause i might do something stupid

like believe it, like believe it

i might do something stupid

like believe it, like believe it

things difference now

doing what i can to change your mind

i apologized a thousand times

but it won't work, it won't work

cos baby now it just feels like i'm burning underwater

this pain ain't making us stronger

so as you're walking out the door

i'm screaming out don't go

if you love me baby you just won't go

i'll make it all better if you stay

so baby don't go

it feels like i'm dying

baby please i'm down on my knees

cherish.

I'm really grateful for you
although you may never know this.
becos we seem to be living our own seperate ways already.
and Idk what's happening in your life either.

Yet, everytime I find myself lost in my situations.
It does feel like you're here with me.
It feels like you're always supporting me
even no matter how hard our past might be.

and I guess all I really wanna say is
Thank you.
Idk what spell you have put on me to feel this way.
and perhaps you might not even know that you have such strong impact on me.
but I appreciate the things you done.

Maybe our path will never cross eachothers' again
but know this, I'm glad we met
glad you left a footprint in my heart.
and I hope that the direction you're moving in now
will give you happiness you deserve.

but I do hope that one day,
we will meet face to face,
and there will be no more silence in between.

Letters from within;

As I was packing my room today,

I found a letter from a old long lost friend

alright, maybe it was that long ago.
somehow it feels like it happened a long time ago,
yet at the same time, it feels like it was yesterday.

Idk what else to say
or what else that can be done.

but one thing for sure, I still miss you.
hoping that I will somehow see you again.

not as stranger, but something different

Is everything abit too late?

I realise that afterall,
this is not what I ultimately need or want.

If I could change it the way it used to be,
I would.