The way it has become

I hate this part of life.
I don't even know how I ended up here.
I thought I learned my mistakes.
Yet, I fell so deep again.


I will never forget the happy times we've been through.
how you can make me feel like the happiest person alive.
but we will never be able to withstand hardship nor pain.
Maybe this is how shallow and surface this whole thing has become.


I don't know whether I am capable to survive this blow.

Agape Love; Love God Love People

This week has been one crazy week for me.
I went to Mt buller for 2 days!
it's great meeting your highschool friends again and going on a short trip :)


getting busy everyday.
and my highlight is attending Empower.
a church conference held at Grace's


It's one of those time when you feel a transformation.
or perhaps, more like a wake up call.
that you haven't been living life straight.
or the way you said you always wanted.
it happens becos so often what we say, we don't preach.
and from the contribution of what the world throws at us.


I rmb struggling alot in highschool
where I couldn't really see the meaning of VCE
the reason why people put such high expectations on it,
deeming it as the only thing that will give you a future.


I was practically torned apart.
but now, my feelings are somewhat a little different,
evolving from the same concept though.


This year, it has been a relatively crazy 1st semester.
Ups and Downs.
especially my emotional state.
so unpredictable


I admit that I haven't been the life this year the way I said I wanted to.
and there's nothing else to say
besides feeling that guilt.
besides disappointing myself.


But then again,
I've gained so much this year.
I learned so many things that I would have never in a lifetime.
I guess ultimately, I learned the meaning of what it means to like someone.
the dire state that we are all in.
and the desire to bring hope to everyone.


and for the past few weeks,
I have struggled with that.
I let all the emotions overwhelm me that I forgot who I really was.
who I really wanted to be.
wasting my time over the silliest thing ever.


but you know what,
it's never too late.
now, the focal of life has been back in perspective.
and I hope I will never lose it again.
I hope I will hold on to this promise.


The first message I receive from the conference was about:


Agape Love

"Agape is love which is of and from God, whose very nature is love itself"

"The essence of agape love is self-sacrifice"

"He loves the unlovable and the unlovely (us!), not because we deserve to be loved, but because it is His nature to do so, and He must be true to His nature and character"
(to read the full article, visit Agapelove)


How wonderful is that?
Do you really understand the meaning of love?


even I don't understand the full meaning of it.
but I'm sure that you will never know the fullest of it till you understand God's love.
His love is the Ultimate.I want to devote myself to love God and love People again.
Big statement. but hopefully achievable.




Sometimes, I wonder where has that old mish been?

Day by day

Ahhh, I'm sick now

actually, I don't know how serious this is

but I have a massive headache and sorethroat xD

I watched toy story 3 ytd!
mygosh, the sweetest movie ever!
I wonder if my toys were really alive
would they be that loyal :)

I made a few important decisions in my life lately.
not sure if they're for the best.
but somehow and somewhat,
I feel content and excited about it.
it's like finding a treasure box, I suppose.

and on a exciting news,
I passed QM!!
so yayyers, no repeat next sem for QM
but I m not sure about psych yet!

and if you guys could do me a favour!
tell me if I shld do Maths or Psych for next sem

I'm not sure if it's becos I m sick right now
that I get so edgy about certain things.
Too much thinking going through my head.
and feeling annoyed.

I guess ultimately,
I'm the only one who will need to face my own conscience.